Deep Point of View – an Author’s Perspective


Hanging out with (Virtually) all you awesome folk who write, want to write, are not writers but are skilled beta (or alpha! If so, you have my deepest condolences for reading thypos and gramm..grammer..grammor…errors. But a big thank you for enduring such written horrors to see past them into the story.) readers.

Today I have run across using deep first or third person points of view.  In studying the Deep POV, this is something I have used without knowing the label of it, I just felt it was something that was my quirk and have strove to go back to the older style.

This morning, in a chat with an author, she explained the Deep POV should be used.

The complaint stemmed from her swapping¬†tenses¬†in the same paragraph. Meh, I do that too, that is where the glory of being a Beta Reader shines. (Alpha reader should be the writer, no? Or the adult children, mother, uncle, brother, someone who it won’t be TOO embarrassing to know you write after taking a hit off their bong)

The thoughts of using a Deep point of view, where you get rid of the “He said” “She Thought” “They saw” sort of leading you to know what goes on in the heads of our protagonist or antagonist… or even the odd tangent character that you might write about that has no bearing on the story and goes away within a few paragraphs.

Like the lead-in person that dies while opening Dracula’s coffin in the archeology dig when no one is looking.

So to use the fancy link skills. I looked this up quick like.

For you writers, beta readers, other awesome blossoms that dream of writing. Write me something!

The Deep POV is a strong and useful tool that has evolved in the last few decades, so I will include the link.  It is a good read.

The way I look at it, as writers we strive to make a better, more passionate soul for our characters.


A note from your writer. An Author’s Moment.


Greetings and salivations:


Yeah, that’s no typo, but it got you to smile, I hope. ¬†As of yesterday, the first edit of “Shock and Awe” came to a close. There is a third in the offing but it will be a couple months before I revisit it. The good police need to have their points of view told.

Plus, I started a romance in it, if anyone noticed.

Radio Check and his team will return in an expanded story, cleaned up and more intense. No technology was used in the story that does not exist. … Well… mostly. ¬†I expanded on some things. heh.

In the next few days we pick up on another story. Perhaps dragons, perhaps cell phones.

A few other threads of stories.

I sit now and ponder my next moments. A French Pressed coffee and a new coffee cup that was a gift of father’s day. ¬†A small model of “Red Jacket”, a clipper ship of the 19th century.

In a steampunk kind of twist, features of the ship will appear in the next story of the stolen children who returned home in the first book. ¬†“Hellions” is in evolution.

In the last few days, we have had a minor heat wave, so in temperatures hot enough to make tar on the street soft? Honey the honey-colored dog goes out into the middle of the yard and naps in full sunlight.

“Recharging her solar power.” I laugh at her.

It makes for a desire to write her into the story. So keep an eye for the broad-headed dog that loves her humans, but with jaws strong enough to crack a coconut. (it took a few hours, but she got it. I lost that bet, after all, coconuts are HARD.)

Looking for some beta readers, we have multiple authors with some very awesome story types looking for an honest reveiw so that the story may achieve its grace and beauty that the author intends for it to be.

If you are interested in being a beta reader/critique officer, send me a private message on Google Plus and we’ll get you squared away and you too can be a part of something larger than large. ūüėÄ Imagine being the JK Rowlings beta reader for the first book in her wizarding fantasy book. Kinda dorky, different from anything that came before, but interesting and constantly busy. How much would that raw, unpublished work be worth to your grandchildren and their grandchildren (assuming she let you keep it) as the beta manuscript before publishing?

I have a couple, over the years. As fate would have it? The unpublished words in a beta reader book are unsearchable in all of the internet. But I will keep the 1980’s version of the manuscript books for the sake of interest.

But I have drifted off point.  Giving ice-cubes to the overheated dogs after they ran in the back yard and barked, protecting their home from someone, so they now have ice-cube treats.  They love their ice cubes. (AND those treats are cheap.)

So questions for you writers:

When you are stuck, as someone has said “Blocked” what do you do when this happens? What do you do to break through?

In my case, walk away, roll around on the floor with a “Who pins who” match between Honey the Dog and myself, shoot some archery.

So far, a note to you, my followers and readers. Keep reading! I’ll keep writing.

For now, Live, laugh, love, let the adventures begin- again.




Hemmingway: “First Draft of Anything is S***.”


Setting up a team.

We writer’s who wish to make a living as a writer, a few of us have gone to G+ and are building a community of those that wish to be the *FIRST* to read and give opinions, critique a story. The authors that hold their breath for every first draft we share among ourselves before we can decide to ¬†we need a critique. the words of Ernest Hemmingway.¬†

“First Draft of anything is s***.”

Mr. Hemmingway hit the nail on the head.  Yeah, this correct to the point of being a truism. But not all writers may think of it that way.  

It is an evolution, giving birth to a child of your mind. You work at the idea. Perhaps it comes to you while you are exercising, or in the middle of a meeting at work. Even if you are the CEO, you can’t just jump up and run out to enter it into a file. ¬†You might write it down on a notepad, making it look all official that you are paying attention.¬†

Or perhaps you are wakeboarding on a lake when the idea hits.  By the time you get somewhere to write it down, now has corrupted and no longer what you were thinking. 

How many seeds to novels has this happened? ¬†Thought of, then are stillborn because you were out of position to write them down, or you tell someone who couldn’t care less.

Then you ask them later and they don’t recall.

But then, you are in your garden, or cutting grass, dusting behind the curtains or washing the dishes and the husband, girlfriend, spouse, mom, dad watches you scamper across the floor to type something into the tablet/laptop/desktop. 

Or if it happens when you are in the shower, you use voice to text on your phone.  Then the spouse knocks on the door and asks who you are talking to?

You are a writer, is all they need to know, really.  I tell my spouse such things and she rolls her eyes and walks off. (The curse of artists everywhere I am sure- unless your spouse is one like you.  Like Julie Bell and Boris Vallejo or Stephen and Tabatha King)

So you have this idea.  You write like a madman on too much espresso, you make the hyperactive kitten seem like a sloth in comparison. 

Then you finish and you hand it to someone to proofread and edit. Perhaps two. ¬†Because they are family or friends, you 1. Feel you are taking advantage or 2. ¬†The answers they give may not be stringent enough. ¬†You *think* you have a gem on your hands, and probably is, but you can’t get an agent to read it. ¬†Or you are told your hooks are not developed enough.

So you open the manuscript and begin to re-write. ¬†Perhaps you are Tabatha King and smile, knowing your husband is about to generate another source of income. Perhaps you are Mr. Jones who works turning bills to profits for a company and then you come home to your wife who is a successful attorney — and she is writing, not a briefing, but an adventure or romance.

You read this pride of your spouse… And you facepalm.

Do you tell your best friend it’s great? or do you crush their dreams?¬†

No, you get them to re-write, edit and do it at least a half-dozen times. Then you read it again, do you find someone then to critique it? not a professional “Yes” person. ¬†You want to have them be hard-to-please, but not harsh and cruel.¬†

Polish that rough stone to a beautiful gem.

Then find a group that will give an honest comment after your 8th re-write.

Because every first draft is sh**. 


Writer’s Conference 2015


An outstanding and educational weekend. ¬†I got to meet and talk with several agents and publishers. ¬†One, who I did not know was an agent, I kind of made a pitch to for my manuscript “Married by Mistake.

Well, I thought she was a writer and we were talking writer stuff. ¬†Then the next day I sat in front of her with an “Official” pitch.

Um.  Already I have, and I know I have, anxiety when being around groups of people.  Not quite claustrophobia, I can crawl into small spaces and save a life (been there, done that.)

It’s a disdain for being so close I can smell keytones on a diabetic, or the cigarette someone smoked an hour ago is something that wears on my soul and anxiety builds.

That said, I sat in front of this writerРand it was the agent I met the day before and unofficially pitched my manuscript of MbM to.  She laughed in delight and handed me a card, asking me to send a sample.

Well, done and done! ¬†But I forgot my contact information, name… small things. LOL. Yeah. This will work not at all.

We will see.

The magazine I submitted Flee¬†rejected the manuscript, I ¬†have resubmitted for another location. I also submitted it (trying to play on the cuteness of my smile and memory…)

So I have been keeping my head down and trying to write a winning letter of inquiry. ¬†Something that is not sounding like it is coming from Sheldon Cooper and Ambassador Spock’s love child. That is to say, I already have a habit for 5 and 10 dollar words, no need to make people race for the dictionary.

Anyway.  4 for 4 pitches to the positive. Agents that want part of or all of a manuscript.

Plus a purchase of a book I highly recommend: “Dictionary of Publishing Terms” by Ingred Lundquist. ¬†Not expensive and information in it is good to have at hand.

Buy it, study it. If you wish to be a writer, this is a good tool to have at hand.

I can be a tool, but this is a good tool.

Secondly: I met and spoke with Catriona McPhearson. It was awesome to talk with Dr. McPhearson, even if a bit of a linquistics challenge when I was in a very tight quarters of a keynote dinner. I had doubled up on anxiolytics, I should have trebled. But no.  Good way to vomit on agents at the dinner.

Not a way to win friends and influence agents to make a memory to accept a manuscript.

Another point.  Writers!  Poets! Send in your compositions to contests!  I have a list of said things that cover from West Coast US to Canada to the London, Paris, Amsterdam book festivals.

If you wish to have a listing of the contests in your area, I have a list. I won’t transcribe it here, it will fill this this page with¬†a nauseating number of text and links. ¬†Just send me a request and I’ll send you what might interest you for book contests.

The book-in-hand roadshow is a big thing to look for.

Local publishers, instructors.  Plus one writer who talkedintoneincrediblylongunbrokensentence and I could not get a question in edgewise. By the time she stopped talking and asked if anyone had questions?

I had forgotten. Blech…

I was trying to pay attention enough to what was being said, I should have wrote down the questions, but I would have missed ten-paragraphs of her lecture.

BUT!  I have now people interested and they know the name of Dash McCallen along with the names of some of the works.

Why do we wish to be writers? ¬†This little group I hang with locally? I don’t know. Brain damage I suppose. I have this chorus of voices in my head that want to tell what they have to say.

I write the ones that scream the loudest.

You are now getting a series of “Valley of Fear” which is not yet evolved. ¬†Is it horror? I don’t know . yet. The characters haven’t told me yet.

Dragon Master university has haunted my brain again of late.

And a new one has appeared in my head. If you like romance, let me know. I have had one agent tell me that male writers and romance do not go together.

“Really?” Hm. My first thought was to Cyrano de Bergerac. No matter if you are thinking of the play, or the real person, all men. ¬†He didn’t say it would not sell, just that it was not a popular combination. Men do not write romance.


That might be a stereotype I am willing to try and break. I already have urges to take the archetype bad-guy and turn them into some sort of good-guy.  Scary good-guy, but a white-hat wearing monster-crushing idea.

So now we are at the end of the Writer’s Conference. ¬†the best I can say to writers, accomplished or aspiring, go to the conferences! ¬†But, price them. Some I have seen are hideous in cost, and see if you can get a group to go with you. Reduce the costs. ¬†Ours was $220, but with six writers, we reduced the cost to less than half per person and I learned a lot. ¬†I am sure the others did, but I won’t speak on their behalf. ¬†Each person brings away something different.

And I am currently surrounded by notes, and papers, handouts and business cards. (each one with something written on them. ¬†Most of them private emails, phone numbers, or “Send me” requests.

Oh! And plus, editors were there.  I have one, she is quite adept and good.  But I learned that there are more skilled eyes with specialties after your first editor.

Do not use friends, family etc.  I had Papa Dash do mine, he is brutal and honest. But still, I had a professional take a look. And it seems, I should pursue a third.

Well, I’ll sign off now, I have used my lip-dribble enough to fill up your screen.

Again, if you are a writer and would like a list of companies or organizations that do contests, you can gain awards or funds to move your skills and motivate your soul along, shoot me a note. I’ll transcribe all you might want.

I will start writing again tomorrow. Keep on reading. ūüėÄ I’ll Write On!

Virtual co-piloting


The last 48 hours has been unusually stressful on this side of the keyboard for a number of reasons.

A manuscript, back and printed in just HOURS before I was to turn it in. ¬†I no longer looked at the words out of sheer panic, if I found something wrong, I’d have exploded. ¬†It would have been marinara sauce and cottage cheese everywhere. lol.

The writer’s convention was coming up and, being my first, I had no clue what to expect. ¬†it is quite enlightening, but turning in my manuscript?

Oh my! oh my.. I almost grew feathers and clucked my way out the door. But the local writer’s group I am involved in, friends all. ¬†They pushed, slapped on the back and got me to put it down for collection.

The manuscript is in, at any rate.

It probably is not good enough, there are flaws recall after I listened and talked with the instructors.  Authors that have made it.

I will post information here at the end of the weekend and share what I find. ūüėČ Worry not good friends and readers, you will not be locked out, I will share.

Speaking of friends. An online friend, an author and talent is moving to the Eastern US to follow her husband who got a job there.  He had to go on ahead, leaving her to do a multi-day adventure -alone- across the country.

She was NOT alone.  I have been following her, sending weather updates every few hours, looking for motels and restaurants/gas stations for her. Updating radar when I sit still and otherwise give her inane and banal conversation when possible, making her laughРI think.

My best comment, I am 3,000 miles away, tonight I am right there, co-pilot. I have the maps and computer access.  The Navigator is right next to you.

A few challenges during the night, a cold night when no rooms at the inn were available I stayed online until she logged.  Because that is what friends do.  When one of us writers/authors/bloggers/journalists need, we will stand next to each other, even if it is only virtual presence.

We stand now to each other, not looking for hand-outs, but a hand up.  The virtual slap on the back, push, thump on the head (if we are being to self-pitying) but in all, we, as a group, tend to cheer each other on.

So this time, this group of writers would not let a friend move that far across the land, alone with no feeling that no one cares. And not me, either. ¬†Not so long as I have an electron flowing through my circuit board. The other bloggers would fall by the nightly wayside, it is still early on the west coast. I am Western Control. ¬†New Mexico Control has voice and the two women talk about everything from little kids to how husbands are so very inconsiderate. (I shut up about that time of the conversation, far be it from me to play a net-version of verbal “Whack-a-Mole”)

Now for three long days, she has arrived in her new home-state.  But sleeping in the car is part of the adventure.  heh.  At least we were able to help and be the copilot she needed.

Tomorrow, she arrives at home and we get our stable, intelligent sister back to the writing world in a few days (Okay, we are talking cable and telephone service being established, could be weeks.).

I hate moving, even as a virtual copilot, it is hard on the (Virtual) nerves.