I am Hershey, I have stolen the computer from the human that lives here and types out words I do not understand, but tonight it has come to pass I have had one need to speak my canine-mind.
Like many of my brothers and sisters in the entire world, we are your best friends. You can beat us, kick us, but we will give you our unqualified love.
Why then, do you insist on making these noises with such things called “Fireworks”?
My human tells me it is all right.
I would bite him in the area where his legs join his torso if my panic got any worse.
It is NOT all right! PLEASE! Please! Please, can you do something else and not try to give me a heart attack?
Can you tell me what a heart is? All I know is I am dying of heat, I can’t breathe, my eyes dilate – whatever that means – and I try to sit on top of him, it seems to be the safest place, then I can still hear the pops and bangs.
Must you? Really?
It takes me hours to calm down.
He has played me sounds on the computer, supposed to calm me down he said.
You humans are crazy. Things that go boom. It just ain’t natural.
Y’know? I want to run away, far away. Get away from those things that go boom.
Storms and thunder is one thing, it bothers me, but I do not let it bother me.
Those things that go in the sky and make flashes in a blue sky. Noises that are not natural.
Can you just keep it to that one day? It is killing my relationship.
The big male human is scraping down and replacing the door I chewed to get into the next room the other day. I was trying to get away from those explosions outside while they were out.
Please, just let me suffer one day. Not for the entire month, I promise I will not chase your chickens in the street anymore. I will bring back every stick you throw, I might even bring back your shoe.
No, scratch that, the shoe is mine. Catch me if you can!
Love all you humans. But you all are crazy liking them noisy things.
Hershey the Chocolate Labrador